You could have heard a pin drop
in the Exeter-Milligan Gym on Thursday March 29th as Ralston School
Superintendent Dr. Mark Adler shared the story of their son, Reid’s, suicide.
He explained how their son had
taken an inappropriate picture of himself and shared it with a female
peer. She then threatened to release the picture on social media.
Adler explained that Reid did
reach out to him and his wife and shared that he felt like taking his own life
but never shared his secret with them. The family immediately sought
counseling and felt that they were going in a positive direction.
Unfortunately, the girl did
share the picture on social media and that one action caused Reid to take his
own life very unexpectedly.
Adler and his wife, Joni, have
made it their goal to do what they can to make a difference for another family,
“I’m not going to let any of our (Ralston) kids get bullied. If I have
one message I could share with a student, it is don’t leave parents out. What
has been done cannot be changed. What is ahead can be defined.”
Joni also spoke to the student
body. “I believe we can learn something from everything. First,
don’t take inappropriate pictures of yourself. Stop the cycle of
hate. I don’t have a magic wand to wipe away the bullying.”
She explained that bullying
exists outside of school, in communities, workplaces and even churches.
Her goal, “Is to arm you with
self-worth. I don’t understand why we give other people the power over
our self-worth.”
She showed a crisp $20 bill and
asked the student body if it they wanted the money and then crumpled it and
asked if they still wanted it.
“The condition it is in has
nothing to do with the money. The $20 is worth something. The same
with you. It doesn’t matter what you have done. You still have
great worth. If you are the bully you can change. Your self-worth
comes from your gifts, your talents.”
She explained that their son
Reid had them fully convinced that he was suicidal because he didn't measure up
to his older sister instead of the confessing the mistake he had made.
She emphasized, “There is never a mistake you should have to pay for with the
price of your life.”
And along with making mistakes,
forgiveness needs to come into play. Joni explained that forgiveness is
sometimes the hardest thing to do. She encouraged the student body to be
kind to themselves and forgive those who have hurt them.
She shared how she has forgiven
the girl who posted the picture of Reid on social media.
The Adler’s shared the Nebraska
Department of Health and Human Services statistics that in 2014 in youth 10 –
14 suicide was the leading cause of death in Nebraska. Among 15-25 year
olds, it was the second leading cause of death.
Joni shared that, “Suicide does
not end the pain, it just transfers the pain to those who love you the most.”
“If suicide is ever something
you have considered I have one word for you, don’t.”
She reminded the students that
no matter how overwhelming the present situation is, in ten years it won’t
matter.
One of the most important
aspects of their presentation was to encourage the students to confide in an
adult. Dr. Adler explained that despite texting over ten of his close
friends that fateful night sharing his fears, none of Reid’s friends contacted
an adult.
Their plea to the 10,000
students they have spoken to is to be kind. “I’m convinced if the girl
had used a bit of kindness, it would have gone a long way.”
Dr. Adler struggled with his
emotions at different points in the talk especially when he talked about the
special times he and Reid shared and now the special times he is missing with
him now. He would be a junior at Ralston High School this year. “The guy
that should be leading the team isn't there.”
He encouraged the students to
embrace two things, leadership and courage. “Someone is looking up to you
no matter where you are at. What kind of leadership are you portraying?”
The courage come is as he reminded
them that if they hear something that they feel is bullying they need to get it
stopped and if they don’t do anything, they are part of the problem.
The Adler’s left bracelets with
the motto #be kind for all of the Exeter-Milligan 7 – 12th graders.
The Adler’s speak to students
for no charge. They ask schools to make a donation toward a scholarship
fund they have set up in Reid’s name to keep his memory alive.
Exeter-Milligan principal Laura
Kroll first heard Dr. Adler speak at an Administrator Day in Kearney in 2016.
“I was fortunate enough to get
into their session. Their story was so impactful that I knew at the
conclusion of their presentation that I wanted our students to hear their
message.”
Kroll continued, “I hope that
it was just as impactful for our kids as it was for me when I heard them speak
for the first time. I hope Dr. Adler and Mrs. Adler’s words and their
message resonates with our kids far into the future.”
No comments:
Post a Comment