During the Christmas break, we again traveled
to Phoenix to visit Karla’s family. This
is an annual trip and I do look forward to spending time with the in-laws. We had the opportunity to see the new
great-niece (only 3 weeks old) and also spend some time with our teenage
nieces. Teenagers – what a tough
group. It appears that spending time
with Uncle Paul and Aunt Karla isn’t as cool as it used to be. Maybe next year I can spice it up a bit or
just embarrass them a little more while out in public together.
While digging through an old box, I found
an article I had saved from the Arizona Republic titled “A player’s
resolutions for Coach.” The author, Tom
Kuyper, wrote a letter to his coach, but from a kindergartner’s perspective. The
letter was a New Year’s list of things for the coach to understand. In it, he tried to impress that as kids, they
just want to play. Winning and losing
didn’t matter as long as they got to play and be with their friends. Please don’t bench “us” when we make mistakes
or when we missed practice – they wanted to make it but mom and dad made them
go to the class play instead. This
article made me think and wonder if we are sending the right message to our kids? Are we stressing the importance of winning
instead of teamwork and improvement? Are
we making the smart choices as coaches, sponsors, and parents? Are we providing a positive example for
others to follow?
Kids are not always going to make the
smartest choices. But as adults, we need
to guide them along the way and help provide them the opportunities to learn
and make informed choices. In a recent leadership workshop I attended,
the idea of developing a purposeful community was discussed. To develop this purposeful community, everyone
must work together and make informed choices.
Not all choices should be made for the children (students) because this
could lead to “learned helplessness.” If a student does not experience success
or failure, they learn to be helpless and that nothing they do matters
anyway. We, as a community, need to
provide opportunities for our students to make these smart choices and also to
provide positive examples for them to emulate.
Everyone makes mistakes – but if we
learn from our mistakes, then we become winners in the end. As a purposeful community, we need to provide
opportunities for our students and show them the right thing to do. Some of the smartest people can make the
stupidest mistakes – but we must learn from them and move on.
Are we making smart choices? Are we providing an opportunity for someone
to learn? Are we providing a positive
example for others to emulate? Are we building
a purposeful community? The choices we make today have a direct impact on the
future – on ourselves and on others. We
must be intentional in what we do and flexible enough to realize that sometimes
we need to revisit and refocus. We all must experience failure in order to
enjoy the taste of success. Through
these learning opportunities we build character and define who and what we are.
Thought for the month:
As simple as it sounds,
we all must try to be the best person we can: by making the best choices, by
making the most of the talents we've been given. - Mary Lou Retton
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